Previously, we were launched into the middle of the story of the Liu family, which is very likely to immediately fall apart right after their introduction. We now meet the other half of this dual legacy: the best friends and social foils of the Lius, the Jeong-Espinosas.

I’d remind you to focus on the details, but the current family conflict is hardly a detail. See if you can spot it.

An average family breakfast of lobster tortellini.

The epicenter of the Jeong-Espinosa household is the kitchen. Not only because it’s a classic family hangout or large enough to have other kitchens orbiting around it, but because of the family’s strong connection to food. You see, Claudia Espinosa immigrated from (the Sim version of) Mexico before she became a chef, and found herself in a world where no one has heard of pupusas, pozole, enchiladas, chilaquiles, elote—no, not even a single tamal. Her current dream is to convince Newcrest that Mexican food is more than just tacos and burritos. Mike and Charlie are faced with the grueling task of making space in the fridge, but they somehow manage.

After breakfast, and before dinner, Mike and Charlie leave for the ol’ nine-to-five/to be another brick in the wall, respectively. This leaves Claudia alone for hours at a time. Let’s see what she chooses to do with her day.

A glimpse of the master bedroom, with its statement wall and fancity bathroom. I *did* design this house, which is why the layout is awful, everything is too big, the landscaping screams “just put a green thing somewhere,” and there’s no living room.

When I say “all day,” I mean all of these screenshots were taken on the same day. Ready?

Heads for the bar right after making breakfast. Woo! This woman knows how to live!
Second drink, but only because it’s a great way to entertain your kids before they have to leave for school.
Wow, those last two drinks were amazing! Let’s have another.
Take a shot every time your husband and kids leave the house. It’s the rules.
Make yourself an EAPA, which is hardcoded as your favorite drink, and then complain about how low-quality the drink is because you’re a foodie. She pulls this shit at least once a week.
Husband’s home. And you got dressed! Drink!! (Also serves as proof that she doesn’t only make drinks when inspired.)

Simister and I had a day where all we did was cook, day drink, and exercise, and we joked about being like the housewives in the movies. Claudia is just this except turned up to 11. If you can come up with a job that requires keeping yourself sauced all day, tell Claudia, because she’s already made a career out of the other two.

Charlie is completely oblivious to all this.

“Charlie can see all sorts of age-inappropriate things… but can he see why moms love the taste of pitchers of juice at lunch?”

Charlie’s top priorities are learning, doing well in school, and, for reasons I will never understand, Cruz Greenwood.

Cruz is the blue and purple one in the foreground

Charlie became one of the popular kids despite his lack of apathy towards school. Clockwise from the left: close family friend, that weird kid who bites the heads off worms, this Goth kid who dresses like how everyone feels inside, Charlie’s cherubic first childhood friend, the epicenter of Charlie’s attention now and forever, and some old dude who I really hope is the caretaker of one of these kids. Elsa is somewhere, but she’s a girl and has cooooooties.

After school, he often heads across the street to visit the Lius. Uncle Xiyuan is nice but has a lot of opinions.

Note the intrusion of Cruz Greenwood.

Charlie and Shu spend a lot of time together playing outside or making up stories with the dollhouse. One time, the baby killed the grandfather and hid his body under a rug, then repeatedly ran over the rug with a car to get rid of evidence, and had to lie to the parents so they wouldn’t go in the house. Then the parents punished the baby with no dessert, so the baby killed the parents, too. Then ran them over with a car.

Homework is really an excuse to finish early and spend time basking in the aura of the greatest person ever to exist.

I learned that if the game bugs out at the right time, two little boys can stare into each other’s eyes for hours.

The last member of the family is Mike, whose daily schedule is boring and businessy, and who is also the hardest to read.

He does love making fun of engineers, which is correct.

Mike is the sort of person who spends a year mastering a certain hobby, then forgets about it completely and moves on to the next thing. He has several unfinished novels, speaks bits and pieces of languages other than Simlish, and hasn’t been really happy at any of his jobs. At least being a comedian prepared him for some truly incendiary dad jokes. So, there’s the Jeong-Espinosa household: two drifters, one by choice, and one blob of constantly buzzed glue holding the ship together.



Fast-forward through an entire day of Charlie learning, Claudia drinking and Mike doing whatever he wants. The next day, Claudia seems a bit nauseous.

It’s probably just the 5 glasses of juice she drank yesterday. Eh! Hair of the dog.

This is the point where we get concerned for Claudia, enough so that maybe it would do some good to leave Charlie at home and run off to a bar with some friends. Something nice, not too fancy, and let’s invite Aileen and Xiyuan for a double date, why not.

Oh, hi, I like your anachronistic sweater because Dolly forgot she actually documented this.

So, a couple of old friends catch up while Claudia is at the bar. How’s the new job? How’s the kid? You look really good in that suit, by the way.


Keep in mind that we’re being thrust into the middle of the story. These two started together, spent all their time together, became successful together, and only moved into separate houses once Shu entered kindergarten. During that time, they proved to be a strong team, inseparable, the yin and yang. It’s been 17 years. Now, they’ve suddenly chosen to start a game of chicken where they’re barely holding in their feelings. I was forced to cancel several of these in a row to prevent these guys from forming a romantic relationship.

It’s also awful timing. Terrible.

The first thing she did was beeline over to Mike to share the good news.

Let’s give Mike a day or so to mull over his emotions, and come back later.

The Jeong-Espinosa Family: Hitting the Juice
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17 thoughts on “The Jeong-Espinosa Family: Hitting the Juice

  • October 12, 2019 at 10:22 pm

    “this Goth kid who dresses like how everyone feels inside”, a memoir lol

  • November 28, 2019 at 4:29 am

    I should have made popcorn. I stopped letting my sims have willpower years ago but I’m envious of your ability to roll with the punches haha. Best laid plans and all that.

    • November 28, 2019 at 2:57 pm

      Oh lord, I don’t even want to admit how much time I’ve spent fleshing out these characters according to their in-game actions. Let’s just say it’s bad.

  • January 5, 2020 at 6:47 am

    Can’t believe you prevented them from starting their much-desired romantic relationship smh! LOL. Man, I can’t wait for Charlie’s story to be honest. It better involve the Cruz kid! Your writing is amazing, as always. The humor, the self-awareness… I’m fucking digging it.

  • July 4, 2020 at 5:10 pm

    That’s one hell of a statement kitchen… is it still considered a statement when the statement is all of it? 😆

    I think Claudia’s my favourite out of the whole bunch – purely because of the whole EAPA thing. There’s something so beautifully absurd yet lifelike about that, it makes her a very realistic character in my eyes.

    I so should not be rooting for Xiyuan and Mike, but it’s too late for that now!

    • July 5, 2020 at 12:10 am

      Yeah, about the kitchen. This first bit was never intended to be public so the builds look like I did them with both eyes closed, and I wish I could say my design sense improved over the years. Year. And of course The Sims attracts people who know what “mid-century modern” and “craftsman” mean, and everyone else’s houses look straight outta Pinterest. I can only imagine the amusement those people derive from looking at the Jeong-Espinosa disaster house.

      Yes, the EAPA thing was just head-to-wall ridiculous. Claudia is just constantly juiced past her eyeballs. I love her.

  • July 17, 2020 at 8:13 pm

    Hey, I’m concerned for Claudia too. I get that Mike is a comedian (also, yeah, I admit to wanting to hear that joke about engineers) but maybe a hungover Claudia doesn’t belong at the bar — it’s not a joke, man! Claudia’s got a bit of a problem and he should, uh, at least pretend to care, especially now that she’s eating (but hopefully not drinking) for two. Doesn’t seem to be his MO, though.

  • December 21, 2020 at 4:51 pm

    “Her current dream is to convince Newcrest that Mexican food is more than just tacos and burritos.”
    ^^ face palm Claudia, I’m right here with ya!

    I always have issues with making homes and rooms too big.

    Claudia… dear… I’m a bit worried for you. Drinking and showing off with the juice mixing for your kid before noon. Whoops! Sweetheart… you’re an alcoholic. Get some help, woman!

    “this Goth kid who dresses like how everyone feels inside…”
    ^^ another gold line!

    Does Mike ever put a shirt on? Lol. Okay, later, I see he does.

    Uh oh… romantic interactions between Mike and Xiuyan! :#

    And talk about the chaos…

    • December 22, 2020 at 5:59 pm

      Claudia? An alcoholic?! Nnnnnn…okay, yeah. Pretty much. At least she knows what elote is.

      Now I’m going to make an assumption, which is that your houses at least look better than this. And in defense of ‘too big,’ some of those unspeakably beautiful houses on the gallery are rough for gameplay. Stairs, I hate stairs. Stairs add hours to every damn action.

      Laughing in my chair at the shirtless Mike comment because there are some important later chapters where Mike is running around half-naked for no reason, and it’s totally unnecessary, and no one comments on it. Hah! It never changed. Maybe I should just have him sleep in a shirt.

  • September 9, 2021 at 4:27 am

    Oh my gods. The absolute drama that is about to unfold. No, that is already unfolding. I need more popcorn and chocolatey snacks. You’re right – you barely need to do anything. These sims are fantastic at ruining their own lives 🤣

    • September 9, 2021 at 3:24 pm

      Go get them snacks!! If learning why Xiyuan is the site icon and has his own spinoff webcomic isn’t a double-fisting-snacks moment, I don’t know what is.

  • May 23, 2022 at 3:11 pm

    Is Mike thinking about Yuan in that first SS? Hahaha, I guess he is hungry…for YUAN. Lobster will have to fill that void, Mike.

    Claudia. Your struggle is real. Good luck with that, and hopefully you don’t give up and just make blasphemous Mexican hybrid cuisine that you can charge 3x as much b/c it’s FUSION, in tiny quantities, and people who lack think THAT is culture.

    holy shit claudia. i didn’t even KNOW SIMS COULD BALANCE BOTTLES ON TOP OF EACH OTHER. good lord I need to take notes and maybe play the game. She’s so happy it’s cute! Like, Charlie, THIS is skills.

    Claudia, there is no way you can snob about an IPA/EAPA after already imbibing. Like you’re feeling too good to snob, and here you are CLEARLY PRETENDING TO SNOB to allow yourself the opportunity to get drunk. Baby, let go and let god, and by god I mean alcohol.

    Ok have to stop reading to run errands so I will continue later.

    • July 31, 2022 at 9:49 pm

      Claudia has taught me so many important things. That Sims can balance bottles. That Sims can double-fist cocktails. That Sims can take a cocktail into the bath. Truly an icon.

      • July 31, 2022 at 10:22 pm

        When I grow up I wanna be like Claudia. Especially double-fisting COCKtails.

  • May 23, 2022 at 4:24 pm

    A kid that bites the heads off worms. Wow. If I had a normal brain I’d comment something like, “Oh! Maybe he has read How to Eat Fried Worms and got ideas.” But alas, I am me, and as such my first thought was, “OH! Good for him. Learning about teeth. If he’s into boys when he’s a teenager he’ll be the best at giving head.” Sooooo hey, keep worm-boy close by just in case, Charlie.

    Maybe Cruz gets piano lessons from the great and all-knowing Yuan. Like Yuan is pretty good with musical instruments but in the closet about his own instrument. Haha. Oh my.

    LOL at Claudia get day-wasted while unknowingly being pregnant.

    So uhhhhh this isn’t unreciprocated feelings Yuan has for Mike, Mike is down to get in his brown. Fucking new baby is a cockblocker.

    • May 26, 2022 at 1:14 am

      Dude I have learned SO MUCH about sim drinking from Claudia. Did anyone know sims could double-fist before Claudia? I dunno. Did anyone know sims could take a martini into the bath before Claudia? DUNNO! But she did these things on her own and bless her for that. Can sims let themselves into Xiyuan’s house while he’s not home and drink all his wine? Check. Can sims get day-wasted while pregnant? Check check checkity check.

      Oh dear—if I had a dangler, I wouldn’t want to put it near someone who was known for biting things. Okay. So I wrote this so long ago I had to go back and check which kid it is. “Wyatt? He’s straight,” I thought. “Cruz Greenwood? Naah. Charlie would have known.” It’s Max Villareal! Okay, that—I won’t spoil whether that checks out. But there is a solid answer on whether that checks out.

      • July 31, 2022 at 10:25 pm

        I need to chug your stories and get to what happens with ol Maxxy. I hope he’s kept his teeth retracted & lol about your “if I had a dangler” response LMAO. Dangler. Dang dangler! I think I will scream that at idiots as I drive.

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