You know what’s more fun than getting a divorce? Getting a divorce, but having a set of two friends you’re unable to divide up, and their stupid kids keep stupid getting older.

She went out of her way to sit as far away from him as possible. Subtle. I like it.

Luckily, Aileen hasn’t been left alone entirely. She has me, the benevolent maker! She also has Shu, who absolutely adores his dad and wants to be just like him in every conceivable possible way.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. You’re not out of the woods yet.

So, this is where we start our story: what promises to be a long and arduous process of healing and self-discovery for Aileen. Or, she’ll wallow in despair until she dies. It’s kind of a toss-up at this point.

Did you think the title was Aileen venting? No, it’s just that Kendra’s birthday party technically never ended. Aileen and Shu were having a blast in the Jeong-Espinosa house and stayed long after the hosts had gone to sleep; Xiyuan similarly overstayed his welcome, but while thoroughly avoiding Aileen. Maybe they feel more comfortable with friends right now—or are they just raiding Claudia’s fridge?

It’s pi o’clock, bitches!

They stayed so long that Mike woke up, and his only reaction upon learning Kendra’s party guests decided to wreak havoc around his house all night was to offer his old roommate some breakfast pie. As one does.

It’s pie o’clock, bitches!

The Jeong-Espinosas are awake and going about their day at 10 A.M.—at least I think they are, because no one is coming to whack Shu for waking them up with his ungodly screeching.

“FWITZO FWITZO TEEMY ZWAR, HAPA ZHUMBA SHUSHU GAR.” Remember in The Sims 3: World Adventures where every time a Sim learned a new song, they would sing it constantly? I don’t miss that one bit.

And if they had stayed, my tale would have never ended. They did leave around noon, but only to scrub all traces of Xiyuan pink out of the house and replace it with shades of grey. (If the term “Xiyuan pink” doesn’t make sense, wait till you see his apartment.)

Claudia helped by bringing some food over. Funfact: I removed the bar from this house because Claudia is incapable of doing anything else in a house with a bar.

Aileen can’t get a post-breakup pixie cut because her hair can’t get any shorter. Luckily, she’s a Sim, so post-breakup medium bob is also an option.

Playing Aileen helped me figure out what outfits are flattering on women with broad shoulders.

However, Aileen’s main challenge isn’t the divorce: she was thrown into a set of best friends and colorful characters, and, as a result, didn’t develop her own identity. “Single mother” is all she has.

Figuring out Aileen’s personal preferences is a start. She seems to be fond of San Myshuno, so she’s going to use karaoke as an excuse to drag herself away from the computer.

Aileen (sans Shu) was back the next night at the same karaoke bar. It goes without saying that she’s on the prowl. I mean, she can’t be seen wandering in her ex-husband’s new neighborhood alone while he’s busy chasing translucent tail. She is going to find a man, a good one, and RUB IT IN HIS FACE. I mean work on loving and respecting herself before dating and RUBBING IT IN HIS FACE. No, that’s not it; I mean build positive relationships with the people around her and hopefully one blossoms into romance SO SHE CAN RUB IT IN HIS FACE. LOOK AT HOW GREAT I’M DOING WITHOUT YOU, YOU BASTARD.

Tonight’s man is personal trainer Bennett Good, one of Aileen’s best friends who just so happened to have two free nights in a row and he is so sad to hear about the divorce, just SO SAD, dear, does she need a shoulder to cry on? Is it alright if it’s just us? Ok, see you at 7.

Homeboy’s playing Connect Four while everyone else is doing the MIT Mystery Hunt

Aileen, having been a random townie, hasn’t had to deal with the realities of dating yet. She’s spared the dick pics and nice guys, but is falling into the same trap Claudia did: it’s possible to find Sims who are attractive, have good traits, or are compatible with you, but not all three. Her best option would be to stay at a social venue past closing, when all of the Maxis-curated Sims have gone home.

Another “option” is Don Lothario, who would prefer to corner Bennett in the bathroom:

“Isn’t it great that we both like grilled cheese and hate ascribing to social norms?”

Don breaks one of my cardinal rules, which is to not impose artificial sources of conflict. This doesn’t mean she can’t hook up with him! Or everyone!

Bennett invited Aileen to the street fair the next day. Not one of her other friends, no, the only one who seems dead-set on spending as much time as possible with her once she became single. Too bad Aileen doesn’t see him that way, and his attention span isn’t long enough to actually make a move. The only person who got something out of the outing is Shu, who seems to have finally picked up on the fact that his mom might be seeing other people and his dad isn’t coming back.

Or he’s uncomfortable because the not-date date interrupted his shower. Hush.

What you’re seeing here is the beginning of a long-running trend in which my Sims replace therapy with basketball.

(dribbles sadly in Mandarin)

But there’s one thing we haven’t addressed: does Aileen really need a date? What kind of heteronormative social pressure bullshit is that? She should probably start learning to love herself instead. She needs outlets. She’s started attending yoga classes frequently and is developing a strong practice. She started learning two new creative skills, writing and singing.

When Aileen writes, she is channelling her rage, fear, and frustration. She doesn’t quite yet have the words for what she’s feeling. Luckily, 127% of all songs are breakup songs, so someone else might have found them already. Better to go through the entire songlist just in case.

She needs to switch from “You Oughta Know” to “Good as Hell.”

On the other hand, focusing on self-care doesn’t mean she can’t window-shop.

There are a couple cute guys Aileen keeps seeing at karaoke. They’re two of the canned City Life Sims; let’s call them Manbun and Ginger. Ehhhh. Both of them have some kind of shitty trait like Non-Committal, Hot-Headed, Evil, or Gloomy. We were just about to give up, for good, when…

I scared my partner by screaming “OH SHIT, OH SHIT, THIS ONE, AILEEN, TALK TO THIS ONE”

Let’s see. Cute! Likes her! No bad traits! HE’S AN ASTRONAUT OH SHIT AILEEN LOCK THAT SHIT DOWN



(This lovely specimen is Derrick Harris, by trentonikui. I downloaded a few other Sims a while back and just forgot about them. While we’re on that topic, if you know of any strong characters, I’d be happy to incorporate them into Gen3 onward!)

What’s the hot take, pancake?

Yeah, that was my reaction too.

Next chapter is kind of a doozy. Brace yourselves.

The Jensen-Liu Family: Aileen’s Life is One Big MF-ing Never-ending Party
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17 thoughts on “The Jensen-Liu Family: Aileen’s Life is One Big MF-ing Never-ending Party

  • November 28, 2019 at 8:50 am

    Damn Aileen ain’t wasting any time. Can she spell rebound while on all that juice?

      • November 28, 2019 at 3:02 pm

        Still works, dawg! She’s at a bar. Claudia just outdrinks her by a factor of 3.

  • January 7, 2020 at 11:53 am

    Aileen better land that guy and never lets him go! Like dude, you’re literally sitting next to a winning jackpot ticket right now. Chase that shit!
    The mess that is this family, man. I love it. Or these families, I should say. I love the interconnections between them – like I almost always prefer ensemble casts and interconnected but still also separate storylines. I think we can all feel Aileen and her dating struggles on a strong level, though. Especially the part where dating is just some heteronormative bullshit and fuck that! I stand by that… now if only moms did, too.

  • July 5, 2020 at 3:57 am

    Ooh it was fun to have an Aileen focused chapter, since we didn’t really know much about her up till now. It’s interesting to watch her navigate her new reality, you’ve got to give her that she’s trying every post-breakup angle available!

    • July 5, 2020 at 3:13 pm

      Yeah, poor Aileen’s trying her hardest. As epic as Xiyuan’s eventual future is, being married for five years to someone who’s 0% attracted to women has gotta suck.

  • July 18, 2020 at 11:47 am

    Not gonna lie, I ugly laughed when you followed “It’s pi o’clock, bitches!” with “It’s pie o’clock, bitches!”

    • July 18, 2020 at 12:28 pm

      What’s great about that is, it wasn’t planned at all. Thank the screenshot randomness gods!

  • May 5, 2021 at 1:53 am

    Oof I was wondering since when does sims generate such hot townies! Wait. Wouldn’t this mean she would be that much further from developing her own identity? xD

    But I agree with everyone else. He’s too hot not to let go. Identity can come later XDD

    • May 5, 2021 at 9:02 pm

      RIGHT?! I thought he was a townie at first. But no, we’re stuck with Aileen, the OG hot townie.

  • January 31, 2022 at 2:05 am

    I’m sure Aileen would be fine by herself, but Derrick Harris definitely looks like a winner and I hope she makes a move if she thinks so too.

    • February 3, 2022 at 11:04 pm

      Gosh, yes. Aileen can make it on her own. But like… astronaut. I don’t remember whether this chapter has his shorty shorts yet.

  • June 14, 2022 at 11:05 am

    Derrick was reaching for a candy bar, but got himself elbow-deep in some Candy Behr instead.

    ^^ I thought your photo needed another caption. I hope it’s ok.

    Will comment the actual story later. I wasn’t expecting that level of hotness on my screen and I SHORTCIRCUITED.

    errr… I mean… I gooped my shorts.
    (I might NEVER quit this)

  • June 14, 2022 at 2:48 pm

    At least there was pie at pi o’clock and breakfast pie at pie o’clock. Claudia’s diet amazes me. “Juice,” “Juice,” “Juice,” wash it down with pie. SHE IS INCREDIBLE.

    A never-ending party sounds AWESOME. A never-ending party with your child and adulterous ex-husband, eh… that’s not a party. That is, by NO definition a party!

    At least Aileen discovered her love for Alanis Morrissette’s anti-relationship anthem! I bet she could belt the F outta it too. Maybe that’s what Shu was singing early in the morning at the Jeong-Espinosa never-ending party.

    Now for Derrick. I swear to Will Wright, Aileen, if you don’t get railed by Hot Derrick, you will let the Yuans of the world win! YOU DO NOT LET THEM WIN! We are all rooting for this rebound! ANTICIPATION SO DEEP.

    • August 2, 2022 at 11:30 pm

      Juice, juice, juice, double fist it, pile it on, in the bath, morning pie, and she still has those blazing hot triceps. Woman.

      Aileen—Aileen, I love you too, and I get that your relationship with your son is crossing the line into emotional incest, but when Yuan decided to stay? For the love of us all, go get drilled by Hot Derrick before your ex does.

      Though Aileen and Shu doing an a cappella duet of “You Oughta Know” the early morning after a child’s birthday party has ended, with the family groggily ambling in in their jammies to get breakfast, where Aileen is emoting the hell out of it and Shu has no idea what’s going on because he’s six, is—okay, stealing, stealing another scene for Haunted.


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